Broken Chains
by browneyed19
Summary: After Xanatos betrayed Qui-Gon and the Jedi, Qui-Gon retreated to a far corner of the galaxy. Perhaps the Force knew it wasn't his destiny to stay out there forever, for he encounters someone familiar...
1. Chapter 1

_**Author's Note: Having been inspired by poetry in many fandoms, I've decided to try writing poetry fanfic. I've written poetry (without much success) for many years—to many to count. So here's the best attempt! Please review!**_

_Something I am  
_I wasn't a quitter.  
Not in fear, in shame, but in running away,  
I gained the title.  
Coward. Scum.  
They'd use those words now.  
Could I ever have been Jedi Knight Qui-Gon Jinn,  
Master of Xanatos DuCrion?  
Before the tables turned, maybe,  
because then I had something to live for.  
What now, really?  
Go back and he goes after me.  
Go back and who knows what they'll say.  
Go back, they won't forget this.  
I can't go back.  
That's what made me this quitter.  
_000_

_Somewhere I'll live  
_Not a beautiful place  
it's got open blue skies  
and it's in an uncivilized corner of the galaxy.  
Smugglers, spice runners can hide here.  
Trading, mostly keeping to themselves.  
There's no such thing as illegal here  
out where no Republic laws can stretch.  
Where loose crime and mutual benefit  
settle almost anything.  
Quan Mire, it's got this craziness to it.  
It puts a fever in my blood.  
I've been here two weeks,  
and if I run out of my money,  
I'll have to take to the streets.  
Join the madness like I'm itching to do.  
Quan Mire is a trap, with its open gray skies a ruse.

_000_

_Someplace I'll be  
_They'd call it a cantina.  
I wouldn't give it that honor.  
It's a dirt shack really.  
Shabby tables, many more shabby chairs.  
It's not a cantina.  
But it has a damn good Correllian whiskey.

_000_

_Some dust  
_This place isn't dusty.  
Not too dusty, anyway.  
But every morning  
everyone kicks up the street dust  
as they shuffle about.  
Heading to work leaves me covered in dust  
but it's nothing compared to what it's like  
in the center of town.  
The center's the slave market.  
Grunt workers, exotic beauties, starved cooks,  
sweat in the open, and dust settles to their skin  
and you can tell it hurts them a bit.  
Leaves me scratching the dust off my elbows, nervously, the whole day.

_000_

_Maybe…  
_Maybe, maybe life wouldn't be so bad;  
maybe I could fight the boy.  
The boy who was my son.  
Maybe I could- - I could now.  
This place knows how to change you.  
Maybe it's the loneliness.  
It takes its toll.  
But I think it's the lack of  
whatever my heart was set on before.  
I've got guilt for leaving it.  
And it's tearing a hole inside of me,  
A hole whiskey is sure to fill.

_000_

_What Now?  
_What haunts me now?  
A presence I haven't felt since…  
No. No.  
I must be wrong.  
I guess it's all really getting to me.  
But I've been living fine for weeks now  
I can't already be going mad.

_000_

_Town  
_There's not much to do when I have free time  
So I sit in the center of town,  
Where things are the most lively.  
I'll see the food, but never trust the cook and but it.  
I'll hear talk, but I'll never trust my ears to believe it.  
and I see the spice trading, booze trading, and slave trading.  
I always watch the trading. I hate to watch it- especially the slave trading.  
Something tells me it will be worth it soon.

_000_

_Madness  
_I thought I'd gone mad,  
more so than Xani,  
when I saw her there.  
What brought her here,  
what in the name of the stars,  
is she doing  
with the scum of the galaxy,  
what's a Jedi Knight done,  
how'd Tahl get herself caught  
in slavery's chains?

_000_

_Becoming That Half  
_The first day I just watch her, and stars,  
it's so hard to watch; it's one of the worst sites I've ever seen.  
She's got no dignity, no title, they stripped it all from her;  
she's succumbed to a whip and a lustful master's needs.  
But the others…  
Stars, the others.  
They sicken me  
they are the prospective buyers  
who like to look at everything, head to doe,  
who will fiddle with their pocketbooks  
and haggle with her master.  
They brush by her unsuccessful, on to the next one.  
I swallow the strange feeling in my throat.  
It's so hard to stand by.  
A drink or two purges the worst of it, but  
I'll need my money for something else.

_000_

_No Courage  
_Finally facing that vile slave trader  
was surprisingly hard to do.  
Fighting a conscious fear;  
traitor, traitor.  
_Slave master. _  
Coward.  
Don't make me think like that,  
I'm saving her.  
I'm saving her, am I not?  
I can't be calm.  
_Because I know I'm a traitor now.  
_It's in the way Tahl can't look at me.  
It's in the way everyone sees me-  
and it's not as a Jedi.

_000_

_The Sale  
_Friendly smile. "You selling this one?"  
"Yus, and you can make an offer." Gap toothed grin back.  
I brought out all my money, plus meager savings, but it's  
not even half his price…  
"Not a chance," the trader sneered.  
For one second, Tahl glances up, and I'm there to see it.  
But I can't read her blank face,  
and in the Force she's cold.  
She's distant; broken off from the world.  
Because of this man. I can't stand him.  
The Force is the best bargainer  
If someone's brain is smaller than a pea.  
Soon she's released, we're walking away.  
Strangers stare.  
Tahl stares at my back,  
still unreadable.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

_Welcome Home_  
"Welcome home" is what I'm tempted to say.  
She wouldn't smile like she would have before.  
I'm tempted to embrace her. She's here. She knows I'm not dead.  
And something holds me away;  
it's not just the raw scars on her back and arms.  
She's burning with that "get away" shame,  
which suddenly makes me ashamed.  
We're both in damn pitiful shameful messes.  
We're also quite mute.  
I must have stared at the wall too long,  
she limps away.  
And collapses after a two steps.

_000_

_Mornin'  
_"Wake up. Smell the muja muffins," is another thing she'd like to say,  
early in the morning, straight as she woke up.  
It wasn't morning when she woke up-it was evening.  
And I don't have muffins. Or even a decent evening meal.  
Tahl's been bathed and wrapped in blankets.  
I used my entire bacta supply,  
she was in such bad shape.  
I laid out some new clothes for her.  
They don't fit; they'll have to do.  
And I don't have anything to drink tonight,  
so I'll go to sleep early.  
Without talking to her.

_000_

_Thank you  
_I scraped her up a meal of mostly bread,  
which she quickly finished.  
Then she slowly nodded.  
that was a thank you-a small one, anyways.  
When I murmur my own "thank you,"  
I just get a look.

_000_

_Distrust  
_Second day-do you hate me?  
Just like you to hate me.  
I left without saying anything  
just like many days before- but this time,  
I didn't come back.  
You follow me out of the house  
you couldn't trust I'd return,  
behind me the whole way  
then back again.  
I've decided something.  
It's so strange we've met like this.  
This was supposed to be a life where I hid my Jedi life,  
And now I've got a Jedi living with me.

_000_

_Please  
__"Please." _The first word,  
a polite word,  
flies from your lips.  
The scars are long,  
it's a deep bloody mess,  
but you've seen worse.  
I help you change the bandages.  
Since you spoke, I'm sure it's you.  
Not some ghost.  
But Force,  
How'd they change you so much?

_000_

_Evil  
_We've all got some hidden evils, I think  
that's why for Jedi, the Dark Side can tempt.  
It's why I can't keep away from all those monsters.  
The bottles are empty, and forget what I said earlier.  
I think what it's like to change.

_000_

_Knows It  
_"Tonight I'm leaving you, and tomorrow we'll talk."  
I get another look, a sadder one.  
We're both quiet.  
I need to get back to work in the spaceport tomorrow.  
That justifies this trip to the cantina, I think.  
Everything gets numb. Soon I need more.  
She'll know it now for sure, too. I'm a cowardly traitor.

_000_

_Work  
_At work they know I got a slave girl.  
That's what they call her, like she doesn't have a name.  
All their talking gets on my nerves, but it's all I have to listen to.  
The more they talk, the more worked up I get.  
It's so hard to keep quiet.  
_Don't answer their questions.  
_I'm their new favorite; they're all trying to know me.  
There's Dregs; the mechanic;  
Filk and Ord, the repairmen.  
It's all I can do to dodge their words,  
until they've given up friendship  
and are consumed by jealousy.  
They won't play friendly this time.

_000_

_Talk  
_"Better meal this time? Soup," I offer.  
She takes it.  
"Are you feeling better?"  
Nothing.  
"Did you get some rest today?"  
Nothing, still nothing.  
Then a,  
"Qui-Gon Jinn, you sithspit, what are you doing?"

_000_

_More talk  
_The question is fair enough.  
"I needed to escape," I tell her. "Just for a little while."  
"Why do you need to escape? You were never a slave,"  
she condemns.  
"I was selfish."  
"It's consuming you, I can tell."  
Flushing in frustration.  
"I'm in control of my actions."  
"Whatever you say, Jinn."

_000_

_Nightmare_  
It's the middle of the night.  
Why am I up?  
It's got something to do with her.  
In the front room, where she sleeps, there's a scream.

_000_

_Comfort_  
I poured some drink  
it coursed down her throat  
it burns,  
chases away visions,  
or nightmares,  
or anything else your thought can think up;  
I know so well.  
I won't get her  
good and drunk, though,  
so she's still haunted.  
I make a shelter  
in my arms  
and hold her there,  
being careful  
where the scars are.  
What happened,  
I wonder.  
What happened to the Knight I knew?  
I don't want to think about it.  
I squeeze my eyes shut  
and rock her  
as she relives horrors  
and I mull over loss.


End file.
